Enjoyables.

There are several things I used to enjoy doing but have slowly lost the spark to continue. I want these things back, they were important aspects of who I am. Without "enjoyables,"  I feel like I have no identity, they were me and now I have let them go. These hobbies and interests made me the complex, individual I was and had self-respect for.

Biking. Drawing. Dog training. Walking my dogs. Doing needlework. Being outdoors. Music. Playing video games. Out with a friend. Skateboarding. Creating web pages.

As I list my interests, I see that I still do have a few, some of the above list contains things I still feel a little enjoyment doing. Listening to music is a main-stay for me. My IPod is shuffling away through a list of alternative music as I type. Playing video games still offers me escape from reality. Going out with a friend still feels good.

Sadly the two that matter the most to me have gone away. Those two are drawing and my dogs. These interests slowly turned from being fun to being shoulds. Being an artist who doesn't do art anymore I feel is a waste of a life-my life. I was given this gift and I am not using it. I miss my creations. Owning three working breed dogs and not working them is completely unfair and stresses the dogs. They have no other joy but to bark at the window at any little sound, which is a big annoyance.They need a job which training and competing was to them.

I want to explore these two lost loves more but to keep this blog a reasonable length, I will continue this topic in two additional blogs.